Its been difficult to juggle work, family, estates, doing things in the memory of my parents, and writing down the memory of my parents. Mostly I have put away writing because we flew to Calgary to see Alexis Gooi and the rest of the family, Fanfan as she came from China, uncle Michael's family, and then Amy's mom came to live with us. My mom always valued family; she often calls and think of them, and I want to keep in touch with the family as well.
One thing I remember which was a turning point in my parents' spiritual life was when I went to college, in 2000. In that first year I was very involved with Campus Crusade for Christ, going to the bible studies, worship, and other events. I had been saved in high school, but it was in college that my spiritual roots really sank in. The concept of forgiveness and love really dug deep in me, that Christ died for us even when we were His enemies, He loved us even when we were against Him. It was my freshmen year that I grew the most spiritually, partly because I had a great bible study leader Ben Hopwood, a great group of friends where we had to help each other on surviving tests and exams, and a great environment where we ate together, studied together, played together, worshiped together.
It was in this Christian cocoon that my faith grew, my knowledge of Him increased, and Christ's words made more sense to me. I began to look at my parents not as authorities that failed me but rather as dear human beings that loved me and are doing the best they could for me. I began to feel very thankful for them. After all, I met many people in college whose parents have separated, or the parents don't like each other, or there are some serious conflicts between parents and children. Every time I came home from college, mom makes a big deal about it, cooks me a lot of delicious food, and usually we go out to do something. As far as conflicts between them I could really say there was one major conflict in 2008 but that was all. My parents loved one another; they ate all 3 meals together, commuted in the same car, worked in the same company, and went shopping together. Plus they worked very hard to stay in America, partly because they wanted me to have a better future.
At that time, in 2000, my mom said she was a Christian at the time but I think she really didn't have love for the Lord yet, and my dad probably believed there was a god but he didn't want to have anything to do with organized religion. When I think about that time, I just remember there wasn't much laughter, wasn't much conversation. I was close with my mom, but not really close with dad at all. We didn't see eye-to-eye on things and honestly I don't remember if we had any real conversation prior to that. Whenever I called home dad would pick up, say hello, and give the phone to mom.
As time went by I realized that I had a part to play in my parents' lives, but instead I neglected them. My parents always cared for me, but I seldom cared for them. I had forgotten mom's and dad's birthdays before, although they never forgotten mine. When I was around that age I just wanted to leave home but I never once thought what I can do for them. Mom often asked me to help her around the house and I grudgingly did them.
Then as time went on I decided to do something about that. I started to buy them things. I bought a foot washer/massager thing(which they never used), a nice wooden letter holder, and flowers for my mom's birthday's. I came home more often, and I was less argumentative and actually tried to listen to them. But the most difficult thing I had to do was to hug my dad. Usually right before I leave the house for school I would hug my mom and then get in my car. Then for awhile I wanted to hug my mom and then hug dad as well but I didn't have the courage. Finally one day I hugged dad right before leaving, and that was very surprising to him. From then on, I always made sure to hug mom and dad, and as I remembered it was at this point where both my parents became really interested in Christianity.
From that time on, mom started to call me to tell me what she learned in Church and when I was at home we would talk for hours about Christianity and the bible. Then dad started to go to church with mom as well. First we went to some church that my neighbors went to, but since it was a mostly American environment my parents didn't feel they fit in.
Dad and I would have more open conversations. I remember that he was gaining some weight at the time, since we bought a grill and every time I came home we must have cooked an entire cow. I was really concerned about his weight and told him to get an annual checkup. He always dreaded going to the hospital or anything related to doctors, something that grandpa feared as well. But after mom and I told him repeatedly then he finally went. And not surprisingly, his cholesterol was 270 and he was overweight. That was a wake-up call for him, and since then he really started to watch what he eats and started to exercise regularly.
I am still very grateful for them, and still remember those years.
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